Once I had drank all night long and the bar is going to close, I order three big and strong shots, I pay and chug the shots in row, I quickly leave bar and stagger as fast as I can to my car before alcohol strike my brain. Once in my car, I insert key in ignition, with several attempts, I grab a bottle and it's generally at this moment that my eyes start to cross and my head dodeling, I have short breath and have to bring bottle to my mouth very carefully. I start the car and drive back and I manage to keep this level of alcohol in my blood and fight against rolling eyes. The only thing that I have to pay attention are the lights of the car that come in front. so each time I don't see lights I drink, because I know that while I'm drinking I cannot control the car and it swerve from board to board of the road. And once at home I know that the only way I will have to get out of my car is crawling, my goal is that I MUST NOT be able to stay on my feet. Sometimes, I that drunk that I even cannot leave the car and I have to honk to warn my son to come and help to enter. I crawl to the main room almost passed out and I'm the moment for why I did all that, for my son fill me glasses of strong liquors that I chug as I can, it's a real challenge, each swallow is a victory, I fight as much as I can to not passing out, and as long I am not passed out, my son fill the glass, I love when I'm on my knee, grabbing from one hand the armrest of the couch, my head supported by my shoulder, and the other hand, that grab the glass slowly slip to my mouth to try not pour to much alcohol during I'm fighting to aim for my mouth. I' m a kind of monster, unable to speak, peeing on me, almost dead, with my son slap my face to keep me awake, but still drinking until I finally pass out
